Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Residency and P90X
My two excuses for not blogging. At least they are productive.
Residency is intimidating. I've been out of school for 3 years and now here I am, back in the inferno, where I am expected to know all of the things that I forgot immediately after I took a test. It's like being in a haunted house-I'm always tense because I never know when someone is going to sneak up on me and "BOO! What should I do about this patient's argatroban that is infiltrating into his skin?". Ok, maybe they don't say BOO first but they might as well. Strangely enough, I don't mind getting up at 5:15 to go to work. And when I get home it's a "good" tired feeling. I even go out in public after work here and there, since the aversion to mankind that I developed while working in retail is slowly starting to fade.
P90X pisses me off. I am sore, and Tony Horton is annoying. And if I hear "Bring it" one more time I may throw a weight at the TV. I like the workouts though, and I need some sort of program besides walking 3 mph (okay, sometimes 2.8) on the treadmill while I watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Residency is intimidating. I've been out of school for 3 years and now here I am, back in the inferno, where I am expected to know all of the things that I forgot immediately after I took a test. It's like being in a haunted house-I'm always tense because I never know when someone is going to sneak up on me and "BOO! What should I do about this patient's argatroban that is infiltrating into his skin?". Ok, maybe they don't say BOO first but they might as well. Strangely enough, I don't mind getting up at 5:15 to go to work. And when I get home it's a "good" tired feeling. I even go out in public after work here and there, since the aversion to mankind that I developed while working in retail is slowly starting to fade.
P90X pisses me off. I am sore, and Tony Horton is annoying. And if I hear "Bring it" one more time I may throw a weight at the TV. I like the workouts though, and I need some sort of program besides walking 3 mph (okay, sometimes 2.8) on the treadmill while I watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Incompetent Blogger
That's me. When I think of people who I consider to be good at life, they are usually pretty consistent with things they start. I get a big F for failure on that one. I can't even give myself an E for effort, and I'm scoring myself so that's pretty bad. I have been thinking of a lot of awesome stuff that I should do (such as maintain my blog that no one reads), but pretty much my day(s) go as follows:
Wake up-this usually occurs 1-3 hours after the time that I chose to set my alarm for the night before. I am a night person with grandiose ideas for the next day that keep me up late, therefore resulting in lack of sufficient rest, which can then serve as my excuse for not doing damnit the next day. When I finally do get out of bed, I vow to never hit the snooze button that many times again and promise myself that I will do everything that I had planned for the morning in the next 20 minutes. This results in a frenzy of ADD in which I rush around the house and move things around and they then become the thing I misplaced earlier. All of a sudden I remember the thing I was trying to accomplish but did not because I remembered the just forgotten task in the middle of the thing. Follow that? Me either. So I spend 30 minutes trying to carry out the plans that I estimated would take a couple of hours the night before but then decided I could do in 20 minutes in the morning. Then I get in the shower late and am in agitated fury trying to get ready and get to work. Which is a great way to start your work day as a retail pharmacist (I'll save that for a later blog). So then I suffer through my 9-12 hour shift, standing in front of a line of gawking customers (all mad because their butter is getting warm while they wait on their prescriptions). I know what the monkeys at the zoo feel like and I don't blame them for flinging poo. So then I get off work, I'm on E, and all of the things I didn't get done that morning sound like a great thing to get up and do early the next morning, and I set the alarm again...
So I've been pretty much a loser since I started blogging about trying to become awesome. In order to get some focus and motivation, I should probably get (as a daily reminder) an inconspicuous tattoo that says "No Excuses" in some foreign language that I should try to learn in my wasted time. Profound. I'm sure it would work.
Here is what I want to accomplish in the near future:
1. I want to learn Spanish
2. I want to play the harmonica
3. I need to learn to ride a bike (shut up)
I know there is more than that, but it's 1:22 am and I have to be up at 6:30 am (aka 8:00 am, which is bad enough).
Wake up-this usually occurs 1-3 hours after the time that I chose to set my alarm for the night before. I am a night person with grandiose ideas for the next day that keep me up late, therefore resulting in lack of sufficient rest, which can then serve as my excuse for not doing damnit the next day. When I finally do get out of bed, I vow to never hit the snooze button that many times again and promise myself that I will do everything that I had planned for the morning in the next 20 minutes. This results in a frenzy of ADD in which I rush around the house and move things around and they then become the thing I misplaced earlier. All of a sudden I remember the thing I was trying to accomplish but did not because I remembered the just forgotten task in the middle of the thing. Follow that? Me either. So I spend 30 minutes trying to carry out the plans that I estimated would take a couple of hours the night before but then decided I could do in 20 minutes in the morning. Then I get in the shower late and am in agitated fury trying to get ready and get to work. Which is a great way to start your work day as a retail pharmacist (I'll save that for a later blog). So then I suffer through my 9-12 hour shift, standing in front of a line of gawking customers (all mad because their butter is getting warm while they wait on their prescriptions). I know what the monkeys at the zoo feel like and I don't blame them for flinging poo. So then I get off work, I'm on E, and all of the things I didn't get done that morning sound like a great thing to get up and do early the next morning, and I set the alarm again...
So I've been pretty much a loser since I started blogging about trying to become awesome. In order to get some focus and motivation, I should probably get (as a daily reminder) an inconspicuous tattoo that says "No Excuses" in some foreign language that I should try to learn in my wasted time. Profound. I'm sure it would work.
Here is what I want to accomplish in the near future:
1. I want to learn Spanish
2. I want to play the harmonica
3. I need to learn to ride a bike (shut up)
I know there is more than that, but it's 1:22 am and I have to be up at 6:30 am (aka 8:00 am, which is bad enough).
Sunday, May 9, 2010
This weekend=FAIL
I'm going to try to blame it on last week's battle with the funk. I still don't know what ailment crippled me, but I was pretty sure all week that I was going to get a call from the CDC telling me that I needed to be quarantined. I had a list of things to do this weekend, and I got a whole lot of none of them done. So I'll talk about lists. I think to be good at life you need to make them and update them often (or maybe I should insert "to have OCD in life" there). I make all kinds of lists-here's a list of my lists:
1. Life List
2. To Do List
3. To Buy List
4. Vacation List (which spins off a Packing List)
5. Gift List (which can be listed as a sub-category under the To Buy List)
6. Grocery List (no fun version of the To Buy List)
7. List of People Who I Wish Would Get a Resistant Fungal Infection on Their Face
So you get the picture. The list of lists goes on and on. I love lists and they are perpetually updated. They make me feel like I get shit done, even if that shit is the actual making of the list. If you feel like you are productive, then you feel like you are good at life. Even if that productivity is slightly manufactured. It's all about perception.
*Token ADD Sidetrack Thought* One thing I did do this weekend is watch the first two episodes of The Pacific. And I learned that I never have an excuse to be afraid of anything unless I get put in a boat and driven up on the shore of a tropical island where a bunch of soldiers with guns are waiting to blast my face off. If the WWII vets could do that, then I should be able to try something only mildly life threatening. That's how I'm going to think next time I try something (say, kayaking?) that makes my heart try to scramble out of my esophagus. I will scream aloud, "IT'S NOT WAR!" It's my new mantra. And conquering fear is another way to get better at life.
1. Life List
2. To Do List
3. To Buy List
4. Vacation List (which spins off a Packing List)
5. Gift List (which can be listed as a sub-category under the To Buy List)
6. Grocery List (no fun version of the To Buy List)
7. List of People Who I Wish Would Get a Resistant Fungal Infection on Their Face
So you get the picture. The list of lists goes on and on. I love lists and they are perpetually updated. They make me feel like I get shit done, even if that shit is the actual making of the list. If you feel like you are productive, then you feel like you are good at life. Even if that productivity is slightly manufactured. It's all about perception.
*Token ADD Sidetrack Thought* One thing I did do this weekend is watch the first two episodes of The Pacific. And I learned that I never have an excuse to be afraid of anything unless I get put in a boat and driven up on the shore of a tropical island where a bunch of soldiers with guns are waiting to blast my face off. If the WWII vets could do that, then I should be able to try something only mildly life threatening. That's how I'm going to think next time I try something (say, kayaking?) that makes my heart try to scramble out of my esophagus. I will scream aloud, "IT'S NOT WAR!" It's my new mantra. And conquering fear is another way to get better at life.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
First things first...
This probably should have been my first blog post, but logical sequences of events have never found their way into my life. I guess I should throw my intentions out there (just in case the title is dubious). I've never really had a hobby or something I've been super good at doing. Being in school for 8 years has always been my excuse (the only thing I excelled at in undergrad was functioning on a high academic level as a probable alcoholic and pharmacy school was pretty much the same). I spend most of my time finding stuff that sounds awesome until I try it and realize it's kinda hard/boring/time consuming, etc. Then I move on to the next whim. This may seem like a character defect to some, but a good friend once told me that it made me good at life. This was an epiphany. Something you see as a fault in your persona (lack of commitment, dedication, short attention span, etc.) can be perceived in a positive way and turned into a big batch of awesome. So even though I don't feel like it most of the time, I'm going with the impression that I'm good at life, and I'm expanding on it. I'm going to chronicle my whims here and maybe one or two will stick. Maybe not. Either way, it has to be more fun than pharmacy...
Being good while feeling like damnit
I've had a lot of time to think about being good at life the last few days. I've been laid up on the couch with a fever. I feel like I've been hit by a semi. So of course I'm trying to plot out my great comeback to life, just as soon as I can move without feeling like I'm dragging a boulder behind me. In all of my misery, I have been looking for ways to optimize my health and prevent ever being sick again. I know that improving my diet is going to be key, but I'm a big fan of the drive through and the Filet O' Fish (even reading Fast Food Nation hasn't stopped me completely). And the Pharm Parties we have (with candy, not drugs) are definitely not high on healthy eating scale. I'm always looking for a fast fix, so I ordered the Amazing Grass Green SuperFood capsules and the Organic Wheat Grass Powder. Five caps a day and one wheat grass smoothie and I'm on my way to superhuman energy. Maybe. It's got to be better than nothing, right? Here is the link:
http://www.amazinggrass.com/
In order to be good at life, you have to not feel like shit. So I'm on a quest for energy and stamina, two things I've been lacking. For someone who ran a marathon in October, I am incredibly out of shape. I have lots of excuses, some of which I will go into later, but none good enough to matter. Part of this is going to be learning not to make excuses and just making "it" (whatever "it" is at the moment) happen.
Goals for tomorrow and beyond:
1. Run (no promises on how far or how long)
2. Drink water
3. Take ye ol' superfoods and try to stay out of the drive through/candy aisle
I know it doesn't sound like much, but you have to start somewhere on the road to life domination.
http://www.amazinggrass.com/
In order to be good at life, you have to not feel like shit. So I'm on a quest for energy and stamina, two things I've been lacking. For someone who ran a marathon in October, I am incredibly out of shape. I have lots of excuses, some of which I will go into later, but none good enough to matter. Part of this is going to be learning not to make excuses and just making "it" (whatever "it" is at the moment) happen.
Goals for tomorrow and beyond:
1. Run (no promises on how far or how long)
2. Drink water
3. Take ye ol' superfoods and try to stay out of the drive through/candy aisle
I know it doesn't sound like much, but you have to start somewhere on the road to life domination.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)